If life throws you a concrete block, instead of a strawberry flavored snowball, don’t feel badly.
A good low-rated B movie will make you feel warm and fuzzy all over. In the days when
money was tight, I always new I could go to the middle isle of Blockbuster and pick a
winner. Now it is your turn!
Over the years, B movies have received a bad rap from critics and the butt-end of jokes
at college parties. Two young guys get drunk and then get the great idea to look through
their movie collections. Do they pick a good one like Wild Things? No! They pick a movie
called, “Attack of The Crab Monsters!” You definitely have to be three sheets to the wind,
to watch and enjoy a corny crab movie. Ed Wood’s classic B movie, “Glen or Glenda”,
can easily be used for a coffee cup coaster or your favorite new dart board.
Thanks to a site called Stupid, you can purchase the worst B movies on earth. Vincent Price was a
great actor, but he did not always have his fair share of good movie roles. What’s exciting, is the “Stupid” website even has plastic horrified B-movie victims, you can put next to your bathroom’s soap dish. After a B horror movie night, it is good for one last scream as your brushing your teeth. While flossing your teeth, you can stare at the little figurines so stupid, you will cry like a baby for milk.
The “Stupid” website allows you to purchase such wonderful movies as A Bucket Of Blood and
Attack Of The Giant Leeches. What I love about the Stupid site, is the bad movie night kits.
You don’t just buy a kit with low-budget movies, but you get microwave popcorn and a barf
bag. The barf bag is what sealed the deal for me! I new if I ever saw Paris Hilton acting again,
I would need plenty of barf bags! Put Paris Hilton in any movie and you have a run of the mill,
low-rate, low-budget B-movie your dog would love.
Army of Darkness is one of the best B Horror movies ever! Great filming and knee-slapping lines make this B flick a keeper. Who can forget The Blob(1958) and who wants to remember it! How about the Attack of The Killer Tomatoes; now here is a movie you can flog some ripe tomatoes at,
while leaving them in the cans! Here is a list of my favorites: Blood Freak, Bloodsucking Freaks,
Body Melt, A Boy and His Dog, The Brain, Brain Damage, Attack of the Supermonsters, and
Bad Taste. These are real movies, that are really bad, and will leave a bad taste of raw unfiltered
horseradish juice in your mouth. Watching one of these movies is like drinking moonshine with a mixed laxative cocktail.
In the movie, “The Brain” a hideous brain creature takes over people’s mental faculties through TV.
Let’s think about this one for a minute. Ok, I’m done. If your really bored and don’t want to mow
your yard, then check out the movie Blades. Blades is a movie where people are terrorized by a
killer lawnmower. What’s next a killer snowblower! Wait, wait… How about a killer food blender.
This headline is a beauty, “Juice Machine Terrorizes Town, Where People Act Like Vegetables and
the Girls Are Fruity.” Well, it is time for me to step away from the keyboard, before I go Fruit
Source by DeWayne Strickland