Best Parents… make sure there is a “father figure” in their kids’ lives. Today’s families are varied. Not every family is made up of a biological mom, biological dad and their 2.3 children. BUT, that doesn’t mean that a mom and a dad aren’t necessary.
The best case scenario is for children to have an actively involved father. This isn’t just a problem in families of divorce. There are plenty of families where fathers just don’t take an active role in parenting. Moms you’re great at a lot of things, but you can’t be everything to your children. You can’t be a dad too. I’ve seen, families where moms actually prevent fathers from doing much at all when it comes to their children. To those moms, I say, “back off a little” and allow your children’s father to interact more with his kids and be their dad.
Unfortunately, the more common scenario is for fathers to make a choice to not be actively involved. I don’t have the space to go into the varied reasons why this might be the case. But I will take a firm stand and say, “It’s selfish.” Your children need you. They need a male perspective. Choosing to check out of their lives (whether you’re present or not) is choosing to abandon them. There’s no other way to put it. This is one of the most devastating wounds you could possible inflict on a child. And no, I’m not just talking about your sons. Your daughters need you just as much.
But what about those families where the actual father isn’t an option? Then moms, I want to encourage you to look for safe alternatives. Are there grandfathers, uncles, or close family friends who can potentially fill that void for your kids? Moms, I warn you to be careful NOT to rely on your boyfriends for this. It’s very difficult for your kids to get attached to someone you’re dating and then lose them once your relationship ends. If they’ve already lost a father, this just continues that cycle of feeling abandoned.
Children growing up without a father figure are more likely to be impoverished, arrested, commit suicide, become teenage parents, become addicted to substances and not graduate high school. Startling statistics, eh?
Daddies – we need you! We need you to teach your children from your unique perspective, spend time with them, show and tell them they are important and play with them. Fathers, the mothers of your children need you! They need your support (not just financial), your unique way of thinking, your wisdom, and most of all – your presence.