Asking me to tell the story of being pregnant with Payton is like asking about the difference of the fall from the moment I hit the pavement. It happened so fast I didn’t have time to see it coming. Payton’s story started in the most unlikely way and ends the same.
It all started with unexplainable pain in my gut that sent me to the floor. The doctor had his fingers locked laying on his desk rolling his lips, this was his bad news posture. “I believe you have endometriosis but the only conclusive way to know is a laparoscopic procedure. We go into your belly button… ” He kept talking but I didn’t hear much it was hard to listen to him and my thoughts. Then he said it. The worst news or at least I thought. “You most likely won’t be able to have any more children. I need to start you on birth control to help control your endometriosis. Please go to the lab and get a pregnancy test it’s just procedure to start you on your birth control tomorrow morning. I’m sorry.” I got nauseous, blurry vision, and a rapid heart beat. My son would never have a sibling, at 21 I’m done having babies, I was devastated. My husband and I didn’t plan to have any more kids for a few years but we did plan to. I grew up as an only child because my siblings were 18 plus years older with families and lives of their own somewhere else. It was lonely, I remember even making a power point presentation for my mother on why we should adopt me a brother or sister, I did not want that for my son. My mother took the news very hard! I was shocked she was always telling us to wait to have kids, by wait I thought she meant don’t. She cried and then said “Don’t listen to those doctors. I am sure you can get pregnant.”
The next morning we were just about to it the freeway when I made the call to start taking my birth control. Everyone was packed in the car, it was sadly silent. “Yes, I have your test result. Your pregnancy test came back positive. Don’t use drugs, smoke, drink alcohol, or take the birth control. Everyone stared at my face. “What?!” Watery eyed I said “I”m pregnant!” Screams of shock, joy and excitement rattled the windows of the car. Of course the first thing my mother said was “I told you so!” We went from thinking I wouldn’t have more children to being pregnant in 24 hours. “Ma’ am we need you to come in for a blood test to make sure it was not a false positive due to a miscarriage. We can let you know by 4 o clock this afternoon if you are really pregnant.” At this point we ignored her and continued to be hopeful, however we were all secretly scared. At 3:59 I called to get my final answer, yes I was pregnant! 5 weeks and 4 days.
I felt beyond blessed! We thanked God with a grateful heart and shared our testimony with our family. Everyone was over joyed, until. There are standard tests that check for genetic deformities. Not even thinking about it we had the tests done and went on our way. A few days later we got a phone call. “Mrs.Brush we need you to come into the clinic concerning your test results.” They call it trisomy 18, she told me not to Google it. Then they asked me the most horrifying question. “Would you like to abort? Most likely she will be physically and mentally deformed. In many cases the baby dies at birth or has a very short hard life.” I was angry and scared. “If I only get seconds with my baby then those seconds will be a gift from God. No I will not abort my baby.” I was 16 weeks pregnant and already in love. I didn’t Google it and I didn’t give it power. We told my mother and she said “That baby is perfectly healthy!” We all secretly cried for a few days. Then I made my mind up God is knitting her and has her life planned. (Psalm 139:13, Jeremiah 1:5, Jeremiah 29:11) Maybe it was divine faith or denial but I refused to believe it. I asked everyone we knew for prayer and submitted prayer requests online. I just knew she was perfect!
A few weeks later they did an ultrasound and there was more bad news. “Your baby has a tumor the size of a dime on the left side of her brain.” A few tears rolled down my cheeks. I prayed and updated everyone on our new circumstances. We had people around the world praying for Payton.
The doctors said because of the risks of death and complications at birth I needed to get further testing done for trisomy 18. I refused to get any testing done because I figured if she has it she has it. By the time I was 7 months pregnant we finally decided to get the test done. As the ultrasound tech was looking around Payton was doing literal summer salts in the womb. My belly looked like a wave pool at high tide.
Taking a deep breath in I asked the
“Praise God! Thank you Jesus” The tears fell and my body vibrated as the stress flowed out. They pulled us into a room and told us the only real way to know for sure was to test the amniotic fluid. My husband and I decided not to because we had faith in God to continue to answer our prayers and those of others. Thank you to everyone who prayed for Payton.
I went from; thinking I couldn’t get pregnant, to maybe miscarriage, to being pregnant for sure in 24 hours. Then my baby might have trisomy 18, they suggested I abort her, she got a tumor on her brain, and we waited on God. Then on November 20th I gave birth to the most beautiful perfect healthy baby girl Payton Jade.
I hope Payton’s story will inspire and encourage you if you are experiencing hardships. She truly is our miracle baby.