It goes without saying that a marriage ought to transcend the mere material matters that consume so much of our lives. The Bible does say ‘Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.’ (Proverbs 15:17). This being true doesn’t negate the impact that money and finances has upon the marriage relationship.
Marriage is more than merely a relationship. It is also a financial union. Both parties bring their material wealth to the table and make some effort to combine them in normal living. For good or ill, you combine your assets and that means responsible decisions regarding those assets are a necessity.
I counseled many marriages that struggled due to improper money management. Here is a short list of the problems:
1. Insecurity. For men, often not being able to provide for your family what you want to provide bruises your ego and creates insecurity. For a woman, financial security often translates as an act of love. If a wife fears about where the next meal is coming from, or if the heat will be turned off, this will create insecurity for her.
2. Frustration. Frustration is bled off on each other, unfortunately. You become short, ill-tempered, or reclusive.
3. Tension. Facing financial woes creates tension. If you have no idea how you are going to pay off a bill, or how you can keep the creditors off your back, you become wound up like a spring. You could explode.
4. Worry. This one seems obvious, but worry has the added impediment of often causing you to do irrational things. Fear blinds. Fear will even blind you to the love from your own family.
5. Anger. Always having to scrounge around for money often produces anger. Anger is often directed at others that you love.
6. Consuming. Money ought not to be the focus of the marriage. But it will be if it is mismanaged. The more important aspects of the relationship get buried underneath the weight of the financial pressure. You’ll not be able to focus on them due to how consumed you are with your money issues.
There are other problems that financial mismanagement can cause, but this ought to be enough to bother you.
Having a good budget, however, can alleviate all of these pressures. There is no doubt that financial woes create anxiety and dread within your own heart. It’s a very difficult thing to bear. Knowing how to manage your money will take all of this away. You’ll certainly be free to focus on the more important aspects of your marriage.
Having your money under control gives you relief from all the pressures mentioned above. This allows you to develop the kind of relationship that you ought to have.
Yes, having a good budget could save your marriage.
Here are some things you need to learn:
- How to set up a budget
- How to stick with a budget
- How to manage credit cards
- How to make wise and affordable decisions
- How to develop financial security
- How to plan ahead financially
- How to treat cash, checking accounts, and saving accounts