The Good News About Pork


After years of criticism

and frequent episodes of outright hostility,

some members of various religious communities

seem to be turning over a new leaf.

No longer considered to be the scourge of the religious right

Thinking people all across the globe

are pounding upon their tables,

lifting their knives and forks to their mouths,

and pledging a new type of religious reform.

Such narrow-minded bigotry will no longer be tolerated

After all, what is the difference between

cows, chickens, horses and pigs?

And at the risk of offending some of my friends

who are tigers, alligators, turtles, porpoises and deer

I say enough is enough!

Besides, what kind of person would discriminate

against an animal who was born to have four tiny three-inch legs?

But when I think about it, somehow it comes as no surprise

Shallow people have been born to drown people

who might have had the urge to try to swim too deep

So before you begin to swallow your courage,

pack up your bags and abandon your gumption

I would suggest that you begin to hold out

just a wee bit longer

Because any optimistic person will surely see

that it can’t be all that bad

Certainly every Tom, Dick and Harry

is surrounded by a Gorgeous George, Happy Harold

or Bartholomew James

Thus, there is no need to become trapped

in a labyrinth of subterfuge

Because enlightened perspectives could be available

to those who choose to keep an open mind

So maybe the first step is to rid yourself of any preconceptions

when it comes to animal meat

This may not be so difficult as it is arguable

that we are all really fine young cannibals at heart

And it is widely known that the differences in quality and grade

may often be quite indistinguishable when both nostrils

have been pinched from the outside just below the bridge

But beyond all of this conjecture I would venture to say

that the issue is merely a matter of principle

The tastiness of pork must be pushed to the forefront

And in the end it must be the ultimate measure of culinary fortitude

Any effort to engage in spiteful rhetoric is clearly

the vestige of an arcane and underdeveloped system of thought

When equal opportunity exists the best of the pigs

will cross hurdles that they have never done before

So there is no reason for other creatures to offer their patronizing

words of advice.

Because we are quite confident that the pigs can make it

on their own.

And for this we are quite thankful, nonetheless!

Source by Gerald Marchewka

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